Post by Lazaar on Jul 6, 2010 14:39:58 GMT -5
Yir
Outside a certain house, she waited. It was dark, and quiet, but the night elf was certain that, at some point, they would return. She had words for them, after all, very loud and rude ones, but words none the less. And by the angry look of her stance, they had to be said NOW.
Lazaar
Yir's patience clearly paid off; eventually there came the clop-clopping of draenei hooves on stone. The currents of air that spiraled through the halls of Ironforge carried his smell ahead; a mixture of death, hard liquor, and stale cigars. The smell of alcohol was especially overwhelming.
The hoof-steps paused when he noticed the waiting elf, assessing the situation. "Oh, just you. What do you want?"
Yir
"To talk to you. Stuff needs to happen." Yir was in full armour, the metal plating covering almost every inch of her, minus a helmet. It was a far cry from what she was normally seen in, but the elf was finding it 'necessary' to wear the heavy stuff more and more. "Shaky won't get his ass out of Dragonblight, so things are up to me. I'm going inside." She turned meaningfully to the door, trying to open it. Even though it was most likely locked.
Lazaar
"Aren't we the go-getter?" Lazaar grunted humorlessly as he eyed her up and down. He moved to the door, shoving her aside if he has to to unlock it. It took a few tries, rattling and swearing to get his worn key to work.
"Shaky? Ha, you mean Grinne?" He stepped aside to let her pass into the house. Once inside, he continued, but still in a low, gravelly voice. "You getting impatient for some action, or what?"
Yir
Gliding past him in a whisper of remembered sentinel grace, the woman turned in the main room to give a one-eyed glare. "You been in Stormwind lately? Fucker killed his parents." She paused, briefly, to let the new sink in, before continuing in a slightly quieter hiss. "Where the fuck are those pictures. I'm taking them. You got them memorized enough? Just gonna frame some poor son of a bitch, give the body to that bitch." Breaking the glare, Yir cast her eye back and forth, as if Lazaar would be stupid enough to leave the drawings in plain sight. "And I'm doing it tonight."
Lazaar
Lazaar dropped the half-jocular facade when Yir mentioned the news. So she knew, too? He subconsciously pressed a hand against his breast pocket where he'd tucked the letter. "Yeah, I know."
He walked past to throw open a cabinet, pulled out the barrel and gave it a kick to roll across the floor to Yir. "Pictures are right there. Every last one.
"I'm gonna help. Need to get her off my back, too. And make sure you don't fuck up."
Yir
There came a snort, the heavily-armoured elf already pawing through the stolen artwork. "I ain't gonna fuck up. And the same better damn well go the same for you, cause I don't want to deal with this shit ANY. MORE." Scooping the artwork back up again, she hoisted the barrel to her hip, pausing to once again meaningfully glare at Lazaar. "Agreeing to work for you people might have been the stupidest move of my life. C'mon, lets find ourselves a human. Less waste of a life, since they don't really live one anyways."
Lazaar
His lips jerked into a sneer. "And what makes you think you can just waltz in here and start throwing orders at an underboss? I'm surprised you're still alive bringing that attitude into the family."
Lazaar clearly has decided to take a turn for the contrary, and snapped his own decision: "Gnome. They're always getting into shit. More believable. Plus they're fucking disgusting."
Yir
The snappish reply was swift. "What family? I work for Grinne, only really attached by name 'cause I guess I'm stuck with it. Haven't seen shit from the rest of you. And that bitch is most certainly not my fucking auntie." She was riled, an angry glint to her eye, and curl to her lip. "...Gnome it is, then. Let's get moving."
Lazaar
"Yeva isn't my family either. Don't get caught up on the fucking words. It's about respect and not fucking it up for the rest of us because you're making some gung-ho decision about this shit," Lazaar snarled, spit flying and tendrils jerking with each snapping motion of his jaw. "You fuck this up and real family dies just like for Grinne."
The draenei stormed past her, and back up the stairs from where they'd come. "Gnome, human, whatever sorry-ass drunk we find down at the tavern."
Yir
"I got real family too, you know. Why the fuck do you think I care so much?!" She didn't seem phased at all by the snarling and spit, just growled back all that much louder. "This ain't some snap decision, I told him I was gonna do it days ago when he wouldn't get his ass out of Northrend, and he said do what I thought best, and to tell you and Ley. If it weren't for that, I'd just fucking break in and wouldn't have to deal with this shit! Up ta me and I wouldn't be dragging some dead goat around, that's for sure." The elf followed swiftly, fully planning to slide past him, and ahead.
Lazaar
He blocked the front door very effectively with his bulk, leveling a glare at the elf. "This is the part where we shut the fuck up about all this. Both of the bitches have been around here lately and their eyes are all the fuck everywhere. We stay quiet. We get it done. I don't have to deal with your bullshit any longer than I have to. You don't have to deal with mine."
He removed his hands from the frame and turned to continue on his way, letting her charge ahead if she wanted to. Lazaar never went anywhere fast.
Yir
For a moment, Yir almost looked like she was going to spit on him, lip curled up, the eyepatch just adding to the grimacy mess of her expression. Thankfully, though, she refrained, just nodding once. "Fine." Aways away she had tied up that silly white sheep of hers, the elf almost going to it, before deciding against and turning away. Cloppy hooves were loud enough already, and another two sets would drive her batshit before they even managed to catch someone.
Lazaar
"Too bad you're not more of a looker, or we could just lure some poor asshole in with your tits and then knock him over the head," he muttered.
The tavern was in the next ward, still very lively with drunks and equally drunken music. This was presumably where Lazaar had just been drinking if the guarded looks on the patrons' faces was any indication. They seemed to be waiting for Lazaar to perch himself somewhere so they could move to a place upwind. Given the stale air of the bar, there was not much hope of this.
"T'ought ye was gone fer the night, Stinky!" the bartender bellowed, and cackled when the only response he got was a thick middle finger. "Ye'll be payin' twice as much fer drinks, then, to cover the smell!"
Yir
"Least I ain't dead," she murmured back, stepping aside to let the draenei in, before following suit. "Ladies first." Upon actually entering the tavern, the night elf... actually managed to look even more pissed off, though she bit down her words this time. Really? A noisy, crowded place where EVERYONE KNEW HIM? It was... probably the worst choice, in her mind. Then again, Yir wasn't the most inconspicuous of people, herself. "Aw, you can't do that, then he'll be having no money to buy ME any drinks!" she suddenly mock-pouted, trying to clear the pissy expression in exchange for something.. more neutral, at least.
Lazaar
Lazaar ignored the banter around him, all business for once. He scanned the tavern, looking for a likely candidate -- some lonely, sad sack drunk. None in particular stood out down below, so he decided to give the second story a try. It proved to be more quiet and secluded, shrouded in a thick haze of accumulated tobacco smoke drifted up from below.
A human sat at a corner table, his only company three empty flagons and a fourth in progress. A night elf sat at the opposite end of the room, already dozing with his face buried in his folded arms.
Yir
Yir breathed in the smoke with a soft sigh, idly wiggling her fingers at the bartender before sauntering on after Lazaar. "Well there's a lonely sap, huh? Did he take your spot?” she spoke quietly, jerking her chin towards the human.
The dozy night elf? Did not even seem to register on her mind.
Lazaar
Lazaar rolled his eyes at what he perceived as a veiled insult. He wasn't opposed to preying on pinkskins, but . . .
"Why not him?" he pointed to the elf with his eyes. "You afraid to go after your own kin, or something?"
Yir
"How long do humans live? The fuckers are like kids with pointy sticks."Apparently that was enough of an explaination to her. The ex-sentinel turned back to Lazaar, raising one long and frayed eyebrow. The look was both accusing and questioning.
”Besides it looks like he's not having a happy time anyways.” Yir privately wondered who would smell worse, the human or the death knight.
Lazaar
Lazaar gave a grunt in response, not willing to fully admit that she was right. He turned fully around and leaned on the bannister of the staircase. "Alright. So the human. You want to go try to get cozy with him? I'm just gonna scare him off, and it'd be weird if we both sit down.
"Plus, he looks like he'd like lady company better than man company."
Yir
”I thought so.” she paused a moment, grinning viciously at the draenei before turning around... And wandering back to the bartender. She wasn't gone long however, soon returning with a drink of her own.
”Don't bother getting you one of your own,” she smirked as she passed, heading the rest of the way up the stairs to slide in next to the human. "Hey there, handsome. Mind if I make this a party for two?” Yir looked rather ridiculous, all clanky armour and spiky hair, but hopefully he was too drunk to notice or care.
Lazaar
Lazaar parked his smelly carcass a few tables over and lit up a fresh cigar. He watched the proceedings from the corner of his eye.
Upon her greeting, the drunk looked up, blinking owlishly before he gave her a bleary, undisguised leer. Clearly he was too far gone to recognize Yir's overall lack of standard feminine charm.
"Hhhhhhi," he breathed, propping his cheek against a fist, his fingers rasping against a healthy layer of stubble. "Pardy's jush gettin' starded, missh elf."
He made a few swats at the air before he actually managed to invitingly pat the seat next to him . . . which was already occupied by Yir's lap.
Yir
"Mmm, got here just in time then, didn't I?” she 'purred', jabbing a finger at the patting wrist, though the motion was meant to be more of an inventation. Her ears, though, contrary to the rest of her, were flicking rapidly, apparently Yir could not entirely hide her utter disguist. ”So can I have your name, or should I keep calling you handsome?” The ex-sentinel was terribly bad at this game. Thank Elune for alchohol.
Lazaar
"Name'sh Daniel, but you can call me Dan or Danny or handshome worksh, too." He pawed around for his half-empty mug and ended up knocking it over. Room-temperature mead flooded across the table and cascaded over the side. "Whuzz yer na--Hahaha whoopsh . . ."
Lazaar was no longer hiding his observation now. Nor was the night elf across the room, awakened by the sudden noise.
Yir
”Mm, Danny, handsome.. They seem to mean the same to me.” She forced a smile, kissing the edge of the glass she had brought, before offering it to the man. "Good thing I brought another, huh? But maybe we should move to somewhere without a spill, hrm...”
Lazaar
Danny hiccuped as he accepted the fresh mug and fought his way out of his seat, upturning the table slightly and knocking over the remaining steins with a clatter. He raised a finger to his lips and shushed Yir loudly, pointing at the night elf who was presently glaring daggers at them both. He gave Yir an especially accusing look.
The human wobbled his way around the tables, bumping his knees into chairs and sloshing out most of the contents of his fresh drink, before he finally landed himself at Lazaar's table. The death knight was half-hidden outside of the pool of lamp light. "Howshabout here, huh?"
He sniffed a few times, turned his head down to smell his armpits. "Sssshit ish that me?"
Yir
”No, I think it must be the kaldorei with the expecially ugly face,” Yir replied a little louder than needed, smirking at the other night elf before turning back to Danny. She did her best to... Giggle, still fighting to maintain her part.
”This seems like the perfect place.” Yir scooted close to whisper in Danny's ear, her ears twitching wildly again. ”It's even all shadowy and... Private.”
Lazaar
Lazaar eased off on puffing at his cigar, and just continued to watch. He occasionally spared a glance at the night elf, trying to decide if he'd make trouble if he saw what looked like trouble. It was always hard to tell with night elves. The death knight did his best to look bored and intimidating at the same time.
Danny gave a drunken, totally un-masculine giggle punctuated by another hiccup. He turned his head to try to steal a kiss while she was within whispering distance.
Yir
Yir shied away, pressing a finger to Danny's lips. ”You may be handsome, but that doesn't mean I can lose all respect,” she purred, whispering again in his ear, so close that her lips barely brushed it. ”I might have to take you to my room for that.”
It almost looked as if the kaldorei woman might lift off her seat and fly away, her ears were twitching so horribly bad.
Lazaar
Lazaar cracked a smirk at Yir's agitation. He half-considered intervening, but this was great payback for her earlier attitude.
"Then whaddawe waiting for, babe!" he slurred. "Let'sh find out wha kinna animal you are in the sack, huh?"
He made a clawing motion at her as he rose from his seat again. "Ha! You're one'a them druidsh, right? Gonna show me your pusshy? Hahaha!"
Lazaar couldn't stifle a snort at that. Haha. Pussy.
Yir
Yir would not, could not, look over at the other night elf. She was looking more and more forward to murdering the SHIT out of Danny. ”Only if you'll be my bear,” she 'giggled', flouncing out of her seat and moving to the stairs.
One spared glance to Lazaar just dared him to laugh any more, and she was off, leading or herding Danny towards the door. And hopefully towards one of the darker alleyways.
Lazaar
The death knight watched as Danny followed Yir down the stairs, half-wondering if he'd kill himself on the way down. Once they were out of sight, he flicked his eyes back over to the other elf. By all appearances, he'd decided to mind his own business, returning his forehead to his forearms.
Lazaar counted to thirty before he stood up as well, and clop-clopped down the stairs to catch up to Yir and their hapless victim.
"'ey, tough luck, deader. Your elfie lass just took off with another lad," a dwarf piped up. "No amount'a booze'll make you look any prettier, tha's for sure!"
Lazaar retaliated with a swat of his tail as he passed, the ring at the tip giving a satisfying thunk against the dwarf's skull. This was followed by a string of curses that poured out into the (supposed) night. It was always hard to tell in Ironforge, but right now, the constant shadows were a good thing.
Yir
As Lazaar left the tavern, Yir was leading Danny deeper into the shadowed night. She sort of flounced in an immitation of those girls that seemed to thrive off of that sort of thing, loudly whispering suggestions and promises that would make even the loudest drunken dwarf blush under his beard. Finally she deemed it far enough, stopping to wait for the death knight. Trusting him to make sure she was not followed. ”Maybe we shouldn't even bother with a room,” Yir whispered, trying to buy time.
”We could do it right here, in the alley.”
Lazaar
Lazaar caught up just in time to see Danny stumble forward and catch himself with a hand against the alley wall. He tried to turn this into a slick, sexy move, but the effect was diminished by both his drunkenness and his comparative height -- at least a head shorter than the elf.
The draenei swept his eyes over the street just outside the alley. No passers-by. No guards.
"Yeeeah, I can't wait either, beaufitul . . . beau . . . beautiful. Alwaysh wanted to bang an elf, but you know. Alwaysh so shtuck up. Won't give a human a shecond glansh, yanno?" He was more or less talking to her chest at this point. "Knew you were different the minute I shaw you, babe. We had a shpark."
Lazaar loomed up behind the drunk while he waxed romantic.
Yir
”It's a good goal in life, bein' worth getting fucked by a kaldorei. However...” She moved fast, one plated hand to his throat, the other over his mouth, the ex-sentinel shoving the drunken bastard into the dead guy behind him. ”You're nothing but filth.”
Yir didn't bother with weapons, nor did she want to. If Lazaar had a knife, fine, but she was fully planning to strangle the hell out of Danny, and then stomp on his face.
Lazaar
Lazaar was not one for weapons, either. He clamped his massive fists over Danny's skull while he kicked the back of his knees -- one, two -- to bring him to a kneel. This elicited a 'gurk' noise from the drunk.
"Sorry to get your hopes up, buddy," Lazaar rumbled. "But no pleasure before pain this ti--"
His ominous words were cut off by loud retching and splattering. Lazaar rolled his eyes. "Fuck this. Finish him off."
Lazaar administered one last kick to his lower back, knocking him forward on hands and knees.
Yir
Yir snorted, lifting a plated foot high to bring it down on poor Danny boy's neck. If it didn't outright kill him, it would at least bring him the rest of the way down, making the next few vicious neck-stomps that much easier. ”Fucker puked on my shoes," Yir growled, lifting her head to glare angrily at Lazaar, one eye faintly glowing. ”Now why did you come along again?”
Lazaar
Danny's neck made a few sickening pops as the blows landed, cutting off the beginning of his slurred pleading.
"I told you why I'm here. To make sure you don't fuck up! Now . . ." Lazaar dropped to one knee, safely out of the puddle of vomit.
"You dead yet, handsome?" He slapped the man's cheek a few times with the back of his hand, peeled back his half-mast eyelids with a thumb, then grabbed the back of his skull again to give him a few extra blows against the stone floor of the alley. Better safe than sorry.
The draenei rubbed his hands against his pants. "Here to carry this piece of shit, too. Not like you could get him far very easy."
Yir
Yir grimaced, about to snap back about being just as strong... But then caught herself. Lazaar could carry him if he wanted. ”Where do ya think the best place to find that dead bitch would be? I don't want to sit with this fucker too long, he'll start
to smell as bad as you do.” Almost as an afterthought, she dropped down next to the puddle as well, to rifle through his pockets for any spare gold. And possibly a cigarette case, if he had one. The kaldorei could use a smoke.
Lazaar
Lazaar felt a dull tickle around his stomach; his blood worms squirming in agitation at fresh death and the blood that was trickling from Danny's head to mingle with vomit. "Not now," he growled as he clamped a hand over his gut.
"Fuck if I know where she is these days, but last I saw she was back here in Ironforge. Still got to stash him until we find her. Back at the house if we got to."
When Yir was done looting the corpse, Lazaar gathered him up like a child. He jostled his head and neck with one arm so his battered face would stay buried in his chest. No use letting anyone see that.
Outside a certain house, she waited. It was dark, and quiet, but the night elf was certain that, at some point, they would return. She had words for them, after all, very loud and rude ones, but words none the less. And by the angry look of her stance, they had to be said NOW.
Lazaar
Yir's patience clearly paid off; eventually there came the clop-clopping of draenei hooves on stone. The currents of air that spiraled through the halls of Ironforge carried his smell ahead; a mixture of death, hard liquor, and stale cigars. The smell of alcohol was especially overwhelming.
The hoof-steps paused when he noticed the waiting elf, assessing the situation. "Oh, just you. What do you want?"
Yir
"To talk to you. Stuff needs to happen." Yir was in full armour, the metal plating covering almost every inch of her, minus a helmet. It was a far cry from what she was normally seen in, but the elf was finding it 'necessary' to wear the heavy stuff more and more. "Shaky won't get his ass out of Dragonblight, so things are up to me. I'm going inside." She turned meaningfully to the door, trying to open it. Even though it was most likely locked.
Lazaar
"Aren't we the go-getter?" Lazaar grunted humorlessly as he eyed her up and down. He moved to the door, shoving her aside if he has to to unlock it. It took a few tries, rattling and swearing to get his worn key to work.
"Shaky? Ha, you mean Grinne?" He stepped aside to let her pass into the house. Once inside, he continued, but still in a low, gravelly voice. "You getting impatient for some action, or what?"
Yir
Gliding past him in a whisper of remembered sentinel grace, the woman turned in the main room to give a one-eyed glare. "You been in Stormwind lately? Fucker killed his parents." She paused, briefly, to let the new sink in, before continuing in a slightly quieter hiss. "Where the fuck are those pictures. I'm taking them. You got them memorized enough? Just gonna frame some poor son of a bitch, give the body to that bitch." Breaking the glare, Yir cast her eye back and forth, as if Lazaar would be stupid enough to leave the drawings in plain sight. "And I'm doing it tonight."
Lazaar
Lazaar dropped the half-jocular facade when Yir mentioned the news. So she knew, too? He subconsciously pressed a hand against his breast pocket where he'd tucked the letter. "Yeah, I know."
He walked past to throw open a cabinet, pulled out the barrel and gave it a kick to roll across the floor to Yir. "Pictures are right there. Every last one.
"I'm gonna help. Need to get her off my back, too. And make sure you don't fuck up."
Yir
There came a snort, the heavily-armoured elf already pawing through the stolen artwork. "I ain't gonna fuck up. And the same better damn well go the same for you, cause I don't want to deal with this shit ANY. MORE." Scooping the artwork back up again, she hoisted the barrel to her hip, pausing to once again meaningfully glare at Lazaar. "Agreeing to work for you people might have been the stupidest move of my life. C'mon, lets find ourselves a human. Less waste of a life, since they don't really live one anyways."
Lazaar
His lips jerked into a sneer. "And what makes you think you can just waltz in here and start throwing orders at an underboss? I'm surprised you're still alive bringing that attitude into the family."
Lazaar clearly has decided to take a turn for the contrary, and snapped his own decision: "Gnome. They're always getting into shit. More believable. Plus they're fucking disgusting."
Yir
The snappish reply was swift. "What family? I work for Grinne, only really attached by name 'cause I guess I'm stuck with it. Haven't seen shit from the rest of you. And that bitch is most certainly not my fucking auntie." She was riled, an angry glint to her eye, and curl to her lip. "...Gnome it is, then. Let's get moving."
Lazaar
"Yeva isn't my family either. Don't get caught up on the fucking words. It's about respect and not fucking it up for the rest of us because you're making some gung-ho decision about this shit," Lazaar snarled, spit flying and tendrils jerking with each snapping motion of his jaw. "You fuck this up and real family dies just like for Grinne."
The draenei stormed past her, and back up the stairs from where they'd come. "Gnome, human, whatever sorry-ass drunk we find down at the tavern."
Yir
"I got real family too, you know. Why the fuck do you think I care so much?!" She didn't seem phased at all by the snarling and spit, just growled back all that much louder. "This ain't some snap decision, I told him I was gonna do it days ago when he wouldn't get his ass out of Northrend, and he said do what I thought best, and to tell you and Ley. If it weren't for that, I'd just fucking break in and wouldn't have to deal with this shit! Up ta me and I wouldn't be dragging some dead goat around, that's for sure." The elf followed swiftly, fully planning to slide past him, and ahead.
Lazaar
He blocked the front door very effectively with his bulk, leveling a glare at the elf. "This is the part where we shut the fuck up about all this. Both of the bitches have been around here lately and their eyes are all the fuck everywhere. We stay quiet. We get it done. I don't have to deal with your bullshit any longer than I have to. You don't have to deal with mine."
He removed his hands from the frame and turned to continue on his way, letting her charge ahead if she wanted to. Lazaar never went anywhere fast.
Yir
For a moment, Yir almost looked like she was going to spit on him, lip curled up, the eyepatch just adding to the grimacy mess of her expression. Thankfully, though, she refrained, just nodding once. "Fine." Aways away she had tied up that silly white sheep of hers, the elf almost going to it, before deciding against and turning away. Cloppy hooves were loud enough already, and another two sets would drive her batshit before they even managed to catch someone.
Lazaar
"Too bad you're not more of a looker, or we could just lure some poor asshole in with your tits and then knock him over the head," he muttered.
The tavern was in the next ward, still very lively with drunks and equally drunken music. This was presumably where Lazaar had just been drinking if the guarded looks on the patrons' faces was any indication. They seemed to be waiting for Lazaar to perch himself somewhere so they could move to a place upwind. Given the stale air of the bar, there was not much hope of this.
"T'ought ye was gone fer the night, Stinky!" the bartender bellowed, and cackled when the only response he got was a thick middle finger. "Ye'll be payin' twice as much fer drinks, then, to cover the smell!"
Yir
"Least I ain't dead," she murmured back, stepping aside to let the draenei in, before following suit. "Ladies first." Upon actually entering the tavern, the night elf... actually managed to look even more pissed off, though she bit down her words this time. Really? A noisy, crowded place where EVERYONE KNEW HIM? It was... probably the worst choice, in her mind. Then again, Yir wasn't the most inconspicuous of people, herself. "Aw, you can't do that, then he'll be having no money to buy ME any drinks!" she suddenly mock-pouted, trying to clear the pissy expression in exchange for something.. more neutral, at least.
Lazaar
Lazaar ignored the banter around him, all business for once. He scanned the tavern, looking for a likely candidate -- some lonely, sad sack drunk. None in particular stood out down below, so he decided to give the second story a try. It proved to be more quiet and secluded, shrouded in a thick haze of accumulated tobacco smoke drifted up from below.
A human sat at a corner table, his only company three empty flagons and a fourth in progress. A night elf sat at the opposite end of the room, already dozing with his face buried in his folded arms.
Yir
Yir breathed in the smoke with a soft sigh, idly wiggling her fingers at the bartender before sauntering on after Lazaar. "Well there's a lonely sap, huh? Did he take your spot?” she spoke quietly, jerking her chin towards the human.
The dozy night elf? Did not even seem to register on her mind.
Lazaar
Lazaar rolled his eyes at what he perceived as a veiled insult. He wasn't opposed to preying on pinkskins, but . . .
"Why not him?" he pointed to the elf with his eyes. "You afraid to go after your own kin, or something?"
Yir
"How long do humans live? The fuckers are like kids with pointy sticks."Apparently that was enough of an explaination to her. The ex-sentinel turned back to Lazaar, raising one long and frayed eyebrow. The look was both accusing and questioning.
”Besides it looks like he's not having a happy time anyways.” Yir privately wondered who would smell worse, the human or the death knight.
Lazaar
Lazaar gave a grunt in response, not willing to fully admit that she was right. He turned fully around and leaned on the bannister of the staircase. "Alright. So the human. You want to go try to get cozy with him? I'm just gonna scare him off, and it'd be weird if we both sit down.
"Plus, he looks like he'd like lady company better than man company."
Yir
”I thought so.” she paused a moment, grinning viciously at the draenei before turning around... And wandering back to the bartender. She wasn't gone long however, soon returning with a drink of her own.
”Don't bother getting you one of your own,” she smirked as she passed, heading the rest of the way up the stairs to slide in next to the human. "Hey there, handsome. Mind if I make this a party for two?” Yir looked rather ridiculous, all clanky armour and spiky hair, but hopefully he was too drunk to notice or care.
Lazaar
Lazaar parked his smelly carcass a few tables over and lit up a fresh cigar. He watched the proceedings from the corner of his eye.
Upon her greeting, the drunk looked up, blinking owlishly before he gave her a bleary, undisguised leer. Clearly he was too far gone to recognize Yir's overall lack of standard feminine charm.
"Hhhhhhi," he breathed, propping his cheek against a fist, his fingers rasping against a healthy layer of stubble. "Pardy's jush gettin' starded, missh elf."
He made a few swats at the air before he actually managed to invitingly pat the seat next to him . . . which was already occupied by Yir's lap.
Yir
"Mmm, got here just in time then, didn't I?” she 'purred', jabbing a finger at the patting wrist, though the motion was meant to be more of an inventation. Her ears, though, contrary to the rest of her, were flicking rapidly, apparently Yir could not entirely hide her utter disguist. ”So can I have your name, or should I keep calling you handsome?” The ex-sentinel was terribly bad at this game. Thank Elune for alchohol.
Lazaar
"Name'sh Daniel, but you can call me Dan or Danny or handshome worksh, too." He pawed around for his half-empty mug and ended up knocking it over. Room-temperature mead flooded across the table and cascaded over the side. "Whuzz yer na--Hahaha whoopsh . . ."
Lazaar was no longer hiding his observation now. Nor was the night elf across the room, awakened by the sudden noise.
Yir
”Mm, Danny, handsome.. They seem to mean the same to me.” She forced a smile, kissing the edge of the glass she had brought, before offering it to the man. "Good thing I brought another, huh? But maybe we should move to somewhere without a spill, hrm...”
Lazaar
Danny hiccuped as he accepted the fresh mug and fought his way out of his seat, upturning the table slightly and knocking over the remaining steins with a clatter. He raised a finger to his lips and shushed Yir loudly, pointing at the night elf who was presently glaring daggers at them both. He gave Yir an especially accusing look.
The human wobbled his way around the tables, bumping his knees into chairs and sloshing out most of the contents of his fresh drink, before he finally landed himself at Lazaar's table. The death knight was half-hidden outside of the pool of lamp light. "Howshabout here, huh?"
He sniffed a few times, turned his head down to smell his armpits. "Sssshit ish that me?"
Yir
”No, I think it must be the kaldorei with the expecially ugly face,” Yir replied a little louder than needed, smirking at the other night elf before turning back to Danny. She did her best to... Giggle, still fighting to maintain her part.
”This seems like the perfect place.” Yir scooted close to whisper in Danny's ear, her ears twitching wildly again. ”It's even all shadowy and... Private.”
Lazaar
Lazaar eased off on puffing at his cigar, and just continued to watch. He occasionally spared a glance at the night elf, trying to decide if he'd make trouble if he saw what looked like trouble. It was always hard to tell with night elves. The death knight did his best to look bored and intimidating at the same time.
Danny gave a drunken, totally un-masculine giggle punctuated by another hiccup. He turned his head to try to steal a kiss while she was within whispering distance.
Yir
Yir shied away, pressing a finger to Danny's lips. ”You may be handsome, but that doesn't mean I can lose all respect,” she purred, whispering again in his ear, so close that her lips barely brushed it. ”I might have to take you to my room for that.”
It almost looked as if the kaldorei woman might lift off her seat and fly away, her ears were twitching so horribly bad.
Lazaar
Lazaar cracked a smirk at Yir's agitation. He half-considered intervening, but this was great payback for her earlier attitude.
"Then whaddawe waiting for, babe!" he slurred. "Let'sh find out wha kinna animal you are in the sack, huh?"
He made a clawing motion at her as he rose from his seat again. "Ha! You're one'a them druidsh, right? Gonna show me your pusshy? Hahaha!"
Lazaar couldn't stifle a snort at that. Haha. Pussy.
Yir
Yir would not, could not, look over at the other night elf. She was looking more and more forward to murdering the SHIT out of Danny. ”Only if you'll be my bear,” she 'giggled', flouncing out of her seat and moving to the stairs.
One spared glance to Lazaar just dared him to laugh any more, and she was off, leading or herding Danny towards the door. And hopefully towards one of the darker alleyways.
Lazaar
The death knight watched as Danny followed Yir down the stairs, half-wondering if he'd kill himself on the way down. Once they were out of sight, he flicked his eyes back over to the other elf. By all appearances, he'd decided to mind his own business, returning his forehead to his forearms.
Lazaar counted to thirty before he stood up as well, and clop-clopped down the stairs to catch up to Yir and their hapless victim.
"'ey, tough luck, deader. Your elfie lass just took off with another lad," a dwarf piped up. "No amount'a booze'll make you look any prettier, tha's for sure!"
Lazaar retaliated with a swat of his tail as he passed, the ring at the tip giving a satisfying thunk against the dwarf's skull. This was followed by a string of curses that poured out into the (supposed) night. It was always hard to tell in Ironforge, but right now, the constant shadows were a good thing.
Yir
As Lazaar left the tavern, Yir was leading Danny deeper into the shadowed night. She sort of flounced in an immitation of those girls that seemed to thrive off of that sort of thing, loudly whispering suggestions and promises that would make even the loudest drunken dwarf blush under his beard. Finally she deemed it far enough, stopping to wait for the death knight. Trusting him to make sure she was not followed. ”Maybe we shouldn't even bother with a room,” Yir whispered, trying to buy time.
”We could do it right here, in the alley.”
Lazaar
Lazaar caught up just in time to see Danny stumble forward and catch himself with a hand against the alley wall. He tried to turn this into a slick, sexy move, but the effect was diminished by both his drunkenness and his comparative height -- at least a head shorter than the elf.
The draenei swept his eyes over the street just outside the alley. No passers-by. No guards.
"Yeeeah, I can't wait either, beaufitul . . . beau . . . beautiful. Alwaysh wanted to bang an elf, but you know. Alwaysh so shtuck up. Won't give a human a shecond glansh, yanno?" He was more or less talking to her chest at this point. "Knew you were different the minute I shaw you, babe. We had a shpark."
Lazaar loomed up behind the drunk while he waxed romantic.
Yir
”It's a good goal in life, bein' worth getting fucked by a kaldorei. However...” She moved fast, one plated hand to his throat, the other over his mouth, the ex-sentinel shoving the drunken bastard into the dead guy behind him. ”You're nothing but filth.”
Yir didn't bother with weapons, nor did she want to. If Lazaar had a knife, fine, but she was fully planning to strangle the hell out of Danny, and then stomp on his face.
Lazaar
Lazaar was not one for weapons, either. He clamped his massive fists over Danny's skull while he kicked the back of his knees -- one, two -- to bring him to a kneel. This elicited a 'gurk' noise from the drunk.
"Sorry to get your hopes up, buddy," Lazaar rumbled. "But no pleasure before pain this ti--"
His ominous words were cut off by loud retching and splattering. Lazaar rolled his eyes. "Fuck this. Finish him off."
Lazaar administered one last kick to his lower back, knocking him forward on hands and knees.
Yir
Yir snorted, lifting a plated foot high to bring it down on poor Danny boy's neck. If it didn't outright kill him, it would at least bring him the rest of the way down, making the next few vicious neck-stomps that much easier. ”Fucker puked on my shoes," Yir growled, lifting her head to glare angrily at Lazaar, one eye faintly glowing. ”Now why did you come along again?”
Lazaar
Danny's neck made a few sickening pops as the blows landed, cutting off the beginning of his slurred pleading.
"I told you why I'm here. To make sure you don't fuck up! Now . . ." Lazaar dropped to one knee, safely out of the puddle of vomit.
"You dead yet, handsome?" He slapped the man's cheek a few times with the back of his hand, peeled back his half-mast eyelids with a thumb, then grabbed the back of his skull again to give him a few extra blows against the stone floor of the alley. Better safe than sorry.
The draenei rubbed his hands against his pants. "Here to carry this piece of shit, too. Not like you could get him far very easy."
Yir
Yir grimaced, about to snap back about being just as strong... But then caught herself. Lazaar could carry him if he wanted. ”Where do ya think the best place to find that dead bitch would be? I don't want to sit with this fucker too long, he'll start
to smell as bad as you do.” Almost as an afterthought, she dropped down next to the puddle as well, to rifle through his pockets for any spare gold. And possibly a cigarette case, if he had one. The kaldorei could use a smoke.
Lazaar
Lazaar felt a dull tickle around his stomach; his blood worms squirming in agitation at fresh death and the blood that was trickling from Danny's head to mingle with vomit. "Not now," he growled as he clamped a hand over his gut.
"Fuck if I know where she is these days, but last I saw she was back here in Ironforge. Still got to stash him until we find her. Back at the house if we got to."
When Yir was done looting the corpse, Lazaar gathered him up like a child. He jostled his head and neck with one arm so his battered face would stay buried in his chest. No use letting anyone see that.
